March 7, 2010
It’s found at the center of controversy but, nonetheless, there are many experts out there who happily use black ops hypnosis. In all probability you have heard that you can efficiently speak to the subconscious using these methods, but you might not understand that it’s possible to help with ailments, be they mental, physical, or even emotional. So you may add help to surmount addiction to tobacco to any imagined stage show humorous hijinks. It sounds a little unnerving at first, but it’s actually a common technique which usually results in no side effects.
conversational hypnosis resembling the method taught in the Underground Hypnosis movement can be simply stated as putting the subject in a trance. How deep the subject falls into trance is dependent upon elements such as their hypnotist’s ability, emotional status, and personality. As you first induce the trance state, their smaller muscle systems start to unwind as a result of unconscious instruction. The desire to doze off arises at this point, and further muscles unwinding may cause the eyes to gradually droop shut. Gradually other muscles “untense” also, notably the shoulders and fingers - and in most cases, this is a speedy process. With a little more work, the person being hypnotized drifts deeply enough into a trance that their sensory experience encompasses only the hypnotist. At this depth, the subject will feel compulsion by hypnotic suggestion and governed by their subconscious. If you should you take your subject to a greater depth of trance, you’ll find a point where they can be helped to ignore pain, and block bodily feeling, even shut away memories.
You may take your subject still deeper into trance, gradually producing a level rife with hallucination before reaching a level like that which the mind enters under a full anesthetic. People might undergo a medical procedure at this point without anesthetic or painkillers.
You won’t learn ways you can achieve that state via Underground Hypnosis, but remember, naturally, you’d virtually never need to. In order to convince someone to carry out what you want, you just need to help them achieve one of the simpler degrees of a trance. Time now to remind you that the wherewithal to do this is open to anybody willing to look into Underground Hypnosis. Through spending a little time studying and a little more time practicing your skills, you’ll swiftly develop into quite an accomplished hypnotist - skilled enough for the typical pastimes. That’s all there is to it - no need to be concerned.
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February 17, 2010
I have constantly been behind on my monthly budget with dependable monthly bill and unpredicted expenses. As soon as I got my paycheck, it was already spent. I got a stack of bills every month and put them off to the last minute, then did them all in a flush. As a result I ended up borrowing money from the next pay just to make it through. The problem was not related to how much money I made, it’s that I didn’t know how to manage my budget. Worse yet, any emergency landed me even deeper in debt.
I am positive most of us have been in this position. We try to moderate our spending and be careful with our money, but long before month-end, the money is spent. Paying bills is a juggling act that we don’t have the time or energy to comprehend. There’s always one bill that was unnoticed or delayed, one more expenditure we weren’t consenting for. With school supplies and fees for the kids, groceries, new tyres for the car, and the rising cost of petrol, just making it from paycheck to paycheck is challenging enough; saving money is out of the question. Meantime, debt is slowly stacking up. How can I get mybudget under control?
I was lucky to have found a service which will help me manage my money more wisely and take away the stress of paying monthly bills, allowing me to concentrate on the things that really matter to my family. I can finally relax not distressing about money, knowing that my monthly budget are in good hands.
The financial planning process:
During your first consultation, your budget consultant will look at all of your existing debts and monthly payments to come up with a plan that works for you. They will oversee your money, setting aside money for savings, emergencies, and long term investment, ensuring your family’s financial security. If you are planning a major purchase, this will be forecasted into your budget so that when you are ready to buy, the money will be there for you.
Your paychecks are typically deposited with your financial planner, and a separate account is set up for your living expenses. Your bills are directly delivered to your budgeting specialist for payment. Some budget services will even negotiate with your creditors to lower your monthly payments and reduce your outstanding debt. A small monthly fee is assessed for all these services.
For me, the most important monthly service mybudget specialist provides is peace of mind. I don’t have to worry about paying any bills; I know my bills will be paid on time, and that I’ll have money in reservation for life’s little emergencies. My budget is finally under control, thanks to my financial planning service.
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November 27, 2009
Many misunderstandings besiege Freemasonry - oftentimes negative inferring of an old boy network, or yet more nefarious insinuations. Yet, in reality Freemasonry is an edifying movement advancing self-improvement and helping other individuals. As a brotherhood, Freemasonry proffers a chance for men to get together and partake in genial companionship. Improving oneself is a vital aspect of freemasonry. Freemasonry advances assisting other people as well, and giving to others is a tangible means in which members serve those.
An important aspect of the Free Mason society’s duties is not to look for new individuals to become members. Even so, any person should feel free to approach any Mason to seek further details about the Craft.
To become a member, you have to be male, 18 years of age or older, and you should match the qualifications of character, should be considered having strong moral character, and have faith in a supreme being.
Anyone who wants to become a member must be recommended by three Masons of the lodge he wants to join. He must realise that his reputation and character will be looked into. After commendation by the Masons of that lodge, he will then be included as an applicant for membership in Freemasonry.
Masons frequently assume items such as masonic cufflinks that casually advertise themselves to fellow members and also convey the lodge they are a member of.
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November 20, 2009
There are various ways to gain confidence for your dates and love life. Some people are born with confidence but most of the people have to develop confidence for achieving dating success. Going on dates and expressing your love to the person you feel strongly about are two things that no one can live without, these are among the few things that everybody does but only a few get successful. You might have seen your friends not able to express to the person they love or not gathering enough confidence to approach the love of their life.
Confidence not only for personal life but is important for each and every aspect of life. How to achieve dating confidence is the question for which you are looking for an answer. For gaining confidence in dating related aspects you need to feel strongly for it. Confidence is something that develops with doing things you fears the most. If you find it very hard to approach or ask out a girl for a date then for the initial time take help from friends but take the next step with your courage. Confidence shows how much you trust yourself. Question yourself why can’t you gain confidence for approaching your love. When you will get your answer try to eradicate it and solve your problem. Analyzing the fault yourself will give you the courage to solve that problem. Dates are meant for understanding the person so that you can decide he or she is compatible with you. Dates can be regarded as the first step towards a long lasting love. If you really like a girl or a boy then be courageous enough to ask him or her out before anyone else does. No one can wait for you for entire life. If you want to spend your life with that person or normally want to chit chat with him or her then you have to gather confidence.
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September 23, 2009
It can be very troublesome at times with overseeing my household budget, but not managing it can put me in to financial debt before I realize it. The benefits from managing mybudget correctly not only saves me money but also helps relieve stress from debt.
There are many things in life that influence me financially, my household budget is the biggest influence. There are not many people nowadays who have learned how to budget and this can cause many financial troubles, including debt. One reason why so many people do not create a budget is because many of us think it is too complex. But in actuality, creating a budget is not difficult at all; it can be as easy as penning down our spending and updating it each month. By practising this habit, we do not spend more than we have.
It is crucial for me to keep in mind that my budget is merely my plan for my monthly expenditure. Just like any plan, mybudget does necessitate me to manage it to keep it operating correctly. Organising information was the first step in devising my budget. I keep track of expenses like car payments, utilities, car insurance policy, groceries, etc. If I do not coordinate mybudget, I can easy find myself in debt. It is very important for me to know exactly what I require on expenditures every month.
I see two benefits with keeping abreast with my finances through my budget. First of all, I am able to save money on unnecessary spending. Secondly, I can keep myself from going into unnecessary debt. When I spend my money wisely, I buy only things that are necessary and I free up money that I can use on something that I want or can save it. With the surplus money I am able to save, I have the option of putting it aside and investing.
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August 6, 2009
The day I started noticing my receding hairline and bald spot becoming bigger, I embarked on my hair loss treatment journey. I would always find ways to comb my hair in a certain way to hide my hair loss. I started wearing more hats on the weekends as I went out with my wife, acquaintances or family. Walking in to work every morning without my hat was a tough experience. Your thoughts changes when you are suffering from hair loss. It is so true that you never know what you have until you lose it. That can be true about your hair loss.
Having suffered from balding, I started to appreciate every strand of hair that I had left. It was as if with each string of hair I lost, so was a small percentage of my self-confidence gone as well. A mate of mine had the same problem as me. Yet recently he seemed so much more relaxed and I noticed that it was as if his hair was growing back. I didn’t wanted to bring it up but after a while I decided to ask. That is when he told me about Advanced Hair Studios. My friend Josh told me that he had only had a few treatments and has already started to see some results, he not only regained his hair, but his confidence as well. After seeing what Josh has accomplished from Advanced Hair, I decided to pay them a visit.
I was a little wary at first. But within a few weeks the results were obvious. Not only on my head, but in my attitude. I began to lose the caps on the weekends and I quickly began to feel better about myself. My wife who has been unhappy about my lack of interest in our relationship began to notice the change in that department as well. It is amazing how just a few treatments to the Advanced Hair Studio had begun to change my life as a whole. I have constantly been wary about people discovering my bald spot. Now, I am not afraid to look people in the eyes again as I have my full set of hair back.
Advance Hair Studio has not only given me back my hair little by little, but a big part of my life as well. If you are going through hair loss I highly recommend them as it has done so much for me in just a few months of treatments. Don’t let your self-confidence continue to be lost with your hair.
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May 10, 2009
You probably have gynecomastia, if you happened to find this article. I have had them too so I know exactly how you are feeling. Gynecomastia affects between 35% and 55% of men, or that’s what the scientific experts say. Men with large breasts may experience anxiety and usually withdraw from social situations. Surgery, diet and taking natural supplements are many ways that are used to treat gynecomastia. Another method is exercising. Visit http://www.manboobsguide.com/how-to-get-rid-of-man-boobs/man-boobs-exercises/exercise-for-man-boobs/ for a great exercise for man boobs. In this short article, I will show you how you can achieve gynecomastia reduction completely by adding a substance to your everyday diet.
Have you ever been on a diet? I know it’s a difficult thing to do. I have tried all sorts of diets in my life. Believe it or not, some of these diets work. Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers are popular diets on the market today.
The diets mentioned above are successful, but it takes some determination. We have established that we are not a big fan of diets. But you know what? Dieting is not something that I am about to suggest. I am going to tell you what to add to your diet.
I am going to keep my promise and tell you about a substance to add to your diet. Have you ever heard of a spice called curry? It is a seasoning that has a light green or yellow color. You have probably tried curry if you like Asian or Indian food. Curry chicken is a very well known dish. Well the curry spice contains a substance known as turmeric which has been used for hundreds of years to treat obesity. It has also been used to treat gynecomastia. I have now told you how to achieve gynecomastia reduction using diet. Don’t wait any longer, take my advice and go apply it. This solution won’t cost you very much money. Another good alternative to using turmeric is to take natural supplements specially formulated for gynecomastia. Visit the site link for a really good gynecomastia supplement.
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May 16, 2008
Every aspect of life is a series of ups and downs. You have summer and winter, day and night, work and play.
You clean the house and all of a sudden the dust has built up again. The laundry is clean and then you look and the laundry basket is full again.
You get a job and you may lose it. You fall in love and then back out of love. One day may be full with energy, another full of challenge just to get out of bed.
That is the dependability of life; it is full of ups and downs. How you handle them is up to you. It is easy to deal with the ups in life. They are enjoyable and inspiring at times.
You anticipate with excitement the prospect of an upcoming trip. You will have time off from work. You are visiting a destination you have never seen before with lots to do and see. You absorb every minute of the trip and it flies by. The day comes when you awake to find it is the last day of vacation. It’s time to return to the job, the house and the day to day activities. You have just experience the up, the vacation, and the down, returning to every day life.
Would you have missed the up of the vacation just not to experience the possible down of retuning to everyday life? Probably you would not have. You know that a day or two back into your everyday life and you will be back on track. Life will have leveled off a bit until the next up and down cycle.
There is a popular saying when challenging times appear. “This too shall pass.”
Well this is just as appropriate when the wonderful things of life come. Life has ebb and flow to it. It is never static.
So how does one approach the ups and downs of life?
1. When you are in one of the up times enjoy it, absorb it and learn from. Affirm to yourself that you are truly deserving of good things and stay present to what is happening.
2. Do not project onto the future with thoughts of “this is too good to be true, it’s going to turn bad any moment.” Don’t waste time trying to look for signs of a down time approaching. Definitely be aware of your surroundings but looking for demons when they are not there wastes time and energy.
3. When you realize you are in one of the down times of life, a lost job, a failed romance, or even just a plain old singing the blues kind of day, take solace. You have experienced good times before. That is your best evidence that you will experience them again.
4. Take a realistic look at the situation. Are there adjustments you can make? Can you take steps to regain your equilibrium? In the most basic cases you just may need to take care of the cleaning, shopping or laundry again. In a tougher case you may find your self updating a resume or brushing up on your networking skills. Assess and correct wherever possible and then take a breath and try to relax.
5. Remember that experiencing a down time in your life does in no way mean that you are living a bad life. You are not a victim nor do you have a black cloud over your head.
6. Step back and take an overall view of your life. The greater majority of folks asked will acknowledge that their lives have contained a mix of ups and downs and that they have learned from both perspectives. It is in experiencing the downs of life that we gain greater enjoyment from the ups in life. In experiencing the ups of life we gain the assurance that we can withstand whatever the downs in life may bring.
Maureen Staiano is a Life Coach specializing in working with women and the unique and challenging transitions we face in our lives. Her mission is for the advancement of all women. Please visit Maureen at: http://www.achieveyourdreamcoaching.com/
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April 7, 2008
As a child I was very introverted, often spending my time on the computer, reading, playing video games, or pursuing other solo hobbies. I’d spend time outdoors biking, exploring the nearby fields and hills (which today are filled with houses), or shooting hoops, but I’d usually favor doing these things alone or with people I knew very well. I never felt too comfortable around strangers, and I never cared for big family events. Psychological tests like the Myers-Briggs pegged me squarely as an introvert. Anyone who knew me would have described me as an introvert without a second thought.
Like many introverts I was pressured by others to socialize more. But I largely resisted this pressure, partly because I enjoyed being an introvert. I often viewed extroverts as lacking in intelligence and depth, and I can’t say I wanted to count myself among them.
However, over a long period of time, I eventually found myself becoming more and more extroverted. I embraced spending time with other people, went out of my way to meet new people, could comfortably introduce myself to strangers, and actually enjoyed it. The Myers-Briggs test now labels me an extrovert. To the people who know me today, this wouldn’t be surprising.
I’m not the kind of extrovert I envisioned as a child though. I feel I’ve done a good job balancing the introvert and extrovert parts of myself, such that I enjoy both types of activities equally. I feel just as comfortable staying at home reading a book as I do going to a new social event and introducing myself to people I’ve never met. I enjoy both group and solo activities, each for different reasons. Some weeks I’m far more introverted and mostly stay home with my family. Other weeks I have a full social calendar with an event almost every night. I enjoy both just as much.
In order to become an extrovert, I found that I had to overcome several blocks to being more extroverted. Chances are that if you’re in the same boat, you have some of these blocks as well.
Blocks to becoming an extrovert
* Undervaluing extroversion. Spending time alone and with people are equally important. If you’re very introverted, you may undervalue the positive role people can play in your life, such as knowledge, friendship, growth, laughter, and so on. The optimal outcome is to strike a balance between the two. You don’t have to give up the introvert activities you enjoy. In fact, when you balance them with more social activities, you’ll probably find them even more satisfying. After several nights of being around people, I really look forward to a night by myself to read, meditate, write, etc. And after lots of time alone or with my family, I’m itching to go out and be around other people.
* Underdeveloped social skills. Social skills can be learned like any other skill set. One reason introverts shy away from social activities is that they don’t feel comfortable because they don’t know what to do, especially if the unexpected were to occur. Being able to start up a conversation with a stranger AND feel completely comfortable doing it is a learnable skill. The more you do it, the better you get at it. Embrace the fact that you’re a beginner, and don’t compare yourself to others.
* Envisioning yourself as the wrong kind of extrovert. If you find the extroverted people around you shallow and perhaps even annoying, why would you want to be more like them? You wouldn’t. When I was a kid, I really didn’t want to be more like the extroverts I knew. Even as an adult, my vision of an extrovert was an in-your-face salesperson who only wanted to build a shallow relationship with you so they could sell you something. It seemed very fake and phony to me. And of course that vision prevented me from ever wanting to be like that. But you needn’t choose such a limited vision for yourself you’re free to form your own vision of a positive way to be more extroverted.
* Hanging out with the wrong people. Why would you want to spend more time with people you don’t like? If becoming more extroverted means spending more time with people you’d rather avoid, you’ll have no motivation to do it. Again, you’re free to break this pattern and form a social group that you’d love to be a part of.
* Overvaluing online socializing. Online socializing has its place in your life, but it’s a pale shadow compared to face-to-face, belly-to-belly communication. Voice and body language can communicate a lot more than text, and emotional bonds are easier and faster to establish in person. I feel much closer to the local friends I’ve known for only a few months than I do to the people I’ve known online for years but never met in person. It’s just not as fun going out to dinner with a laptop. You don’t have to do away with online socializing, but don’t allow it to crowd out meeting people locally. If you do that, you’ll only cause your interpersonal skills to lag further behind.
If you have some of these blocks and want to get past them, the first step is to acknowledge them and consider how they’re holding you back. Then begin to work on them just as you would any other challenge in your life. Focus your intentions, set goals, make plans, and start taking action. It may be awkward and clumsy at first, but just accept that, and get moving anyway.
Suggestions for becoming more extroverted
Here are some additional suggestions for how to become more extroverted:
* Envision the type of extrovert you’d like to be. What’s your ideal outcome? If you feel too introverted and want to be more extroverted, start by working on your vision of your outcome. Chances are that if you’ve been making little progress in this area, you have a somewhat negative vision of extroverts. When I formed a positive vision of being an extrovert that included building genuine relationships with intelligent people I respect (as opposed to random, shallow socializing), I soon began attracting those relationships. Being a “dumb jock” kind of extrovert still has no appeal to me.
* Think of relationships in terms of what you can give, not in terms of what you can get. If you seek to build new relationships based on mutual giving and receiving, you’ll have no shortage of friends. Identify people with whom you’d like to build a relationship, and start by giving. I’ve found that my geeky knowledge is actually a tremendous strength when it comes to socializing because there are an awful lot of non-geeks who’d like to understand geeky stuff better, and I can explain it to them in ways they’ll understand. For example, I’ve been teaching some local speaker friends about blogging and web marketing, and in return I’m learning a lot from them about speaking, humor, etc. There are many intelligent people out there who’d love to have a geek as a friend. What can you bring to a relationship that will be of benefit to someone else? When you figure out what that is (and it’s probably many different things), you’ll have an easier time attracting new friends into your life.
* Find the right social group for you. Consciously consider the types of people you’d want to have as friends. There’s no rule that says this has to be your peers or co-workers. I actually find myself more interested in making friends with people who are much older than me as opposed to people my own age or slightly younger. People around my age (34) tend to be very career- and family-oriented, but often in a somewhat mindless, socially conditioned way that isn’t centered around any consciously chosen life purpose or belief system. And people in their 20s, while often highly energetic, tend to be largely unfocused… or focused on trivial pursuits that just aren’t that important. So it’s been difficult for me to find people near my age where we have enough in common for a long-term friendship. I seem to have an easier time making friends with people in their 40s, 50, and older. They typically have greater knowledge and experience, more fascinating stories to share, more resources (information and ideas, financial resources, contacts), and a better sense of who they are and what they want to do with their lives. Often I find myself attending social events where I’m the youngest person in the room, but that feels very comfortable and normal for me. Don’t be afraid to stretch beyond the most obvious peer group and hang out with people from different ages, neighborhoods, cultures, countries, etc. You might find the variety to be a lot of fun.
* Play from your strengths. It’s interesting that many introverts have no trouble socializing online. In that environment they’re able to play from their strengths. But you can also use your strengths consciously as leverage to branch out into more face-to-face socializing. For example, after I graduated college, I met a woman on a local BBS (before there was much of a World Wide Web). We got to chatting online over a period of weeks. Eventually we met in person and became friends, and I soon fell into her pre-existing social group through osmosis. My social calendar went from empty to full almost overnight. That woman, by the way, has been my wife for the past 7.5 years. If you socialize online, see if you can’t use that strength to build new local relationships. While people have done this in global forums like online games, I think it’s easier to try it in local forums. For instance, there are message boards for people who’ve recently moved to Las Vegas.
* Join a club. It’s old advice, but it still works. The advantage is that you’ll find people who share similar interests, which makes it easier to build new relationships. One good club can fill your social calendar. For example, through my membership in Toastmasters, I get invitations to lots of other local social events. I don’t go to everything, but it’s nice to get those invites. Plus belonging to an international organization with 200,000 members worldwide creates social inroads around the planet. If you join a club and find that it’s not right for you, quit and join something else. My wife and I have both been through a number of local social groups that just didn’t resonate with us (too boring, too slow, too disorganized, too many alcoholics). But one good group is all you need.
* Develop your social skills consciously. You can learn to become better at building rapport, introducing yourself, keeping a conversation going, asking someone out on a date, feeling socially comfortable instead of nervous, and so on. You don’t need to be shallow and manipulative about it, but genuinely build these skills because it will greatly enhance your life. One approach I find extremely effective is to ask the other person how s/he got started in his/her current line of work. 80-90% of the time the person will say something like, “Well, that’s an interesting story….” And I genuinely like hearing these stories. A small basic set of social skills can go a long way because you’ll get to reuse them every time you meet someone. Whatever skill you’d like to develop, try doing a Google or Amazon search on it, and you’ll probably find plenty of articles and books.
Realize that when you hold yourself back from socializing, you’re not only depriving yourself you’re also depriving other people of the chance to get to know you. How much longer do you want your future spouse or best friend to remain alone?
Here are some follow-up posts that further explore this topic:
1. Improving Social Skills
2. A Question for Introverts
3. Risk vs. Reward in Human Relationships
Copyright © Steve Pavlina
Steve Pavlina
Personal Development for Smart People
http://www.stevepavlina.com
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog (blog)
http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles (articles)
Steve is intensely growth-oriented. He trained in martial arts, ran the L.A. Marathon, and graduated from college in three semesters with two degrees. He can juggle, count cards at blackjack, and make damn good guacamole. Steve is also a polyphasic sleeper, sleeping just 2-3 hours per day and only 20 minutes at a time. So chances are good that he’s awake right now.
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January 3, 2008
Emotional dependency means getting one’s good feelings from outside oneself. It means needing to get filled from outside rather than from within. Who or what do you believe is responsible for your emotional wellbeing?
There are numerous forms of emotional dependency:
* Dependence on substances, such as food, drugs, or alcohol, to fill emptiness and take away pain.
* Dependency on processes such as spending, gambling, or TV, also to fill emptiness and take away pain.
* Dependence on money to define one’s worth and adequacy.
* Dependence on getting someone’s love, approval, or attention to feel worthy, adequate, lovable, and safe.
* Dependence on sex to fill emptiness and feel adequate.
When you do not take responsibility for defining your own adequacy and worth or for creating your own inner sense of safety, you will seek to feel adequate, worthy and safe externally. Whatever you do not give to yourself, you may seek from others or from substances or processes. Emotional dependency is the opposite of taking personal responsibility for one’s emotional wellbeing. Yet many people have no idea that this is their responsibility, nor do they have any idea how to take this responsibility.
What does it mean to take emotional responsibility rather than be emotionally dependent?
Primarily, it means recognizing that our feelings come from our own thoughts, beliefs and behavior, rather than from others or from circumstances. Once you understand and accept that you create your own feelings, rather than your feelings coming from outside yourself, then you can begin to take emotional responsibility.
For example, let’s say someone you care about gets angry at you.
If you are emotionally dependent, you may feel rejected and believe that your feelings of rejection are coming from the other’s anger. You might also feel hurt, scared, anxious, inadequate, shamed, angry, blaming, or many other difficult feeling in response to the other’s anger. You might try many ways of getting the other person to not be angry in an effort to feel better.
However, if you are emotionally responsible, you will feel and respond entirely differently. The first thing you might do is to tell yourself that another person’s anger has nothing to do with you. Perhaps that person is having a bad day and is taking it out on you. Perhaps that person is feeling hurt or inadequate and is trying to be one-up by putting you one-down. Whatever the reason for the other’s anger, it is about them rather than about you. An emotionally responsible person does not take others’ behavior personally, knowing that we have no control over others’ feelings and behavior, and that we do not cause others to feel and behave the way they do - that others are responsible for their feelings and behavior just as we are for ours.
The next thing an emotionally responsible person might do is move into compassion for the angry person, and open to learning about what is going on with the other person. For example, you might say, “I don’t like your anger, but I am willing to understand what is upsetting you. Would you like to talk about it?” If the person refuses to stop being angry, or if you know ahead of time that this person is not going to open up, then as an emotionally responsible person, you would take loving action in your own behalf. For example, you might say, “I’m unwilling to be at the other end of your anger. When you are ready to be open with me, let me know. Meanwhile, I’m going to take a walk (or hang up the phone, or leave the restaurant, or go into the other room, and so on). An emotionally responsible person gets out of range of attack rather than tries to change the other person.
Once out of range, the emotionally responsible person goes inside and explores any painful feelings that might have resulted from the attack. For example, perhaps you are feeling lonely as a result of being attacked. An emotionally responsible person embraces the feelings of loneliness with understanding and compassion, holding them just as you would hold a sad child. When you acknowledge and embrace the feelings of loneliness, you allow them to move through you quickly, so you can move back into peace.
Rather than being a victim of the other’s behavior, you have taken emotional responsibility for yourself. Instead of staying stuck in feeling angry, hurt, blaming, afraid, anxious or inadequate, you have moved yourself back into feeling safe and peaceful.
When you realize that your feelings are your responsibility, you can move out of emotional dependency. This will make a huge difference within you and with all of your relationships. Relationships thrive when each person moves out of emotional dependency and into emotional responsibility.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
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