Reasoning Theorems of Success

How do we make friends? More importantly if dropped into a new city or a new job or a new school, how do we go about making a new friends? Most of us don’t really think about it, but just sort of allow people to float in and out of our lives without really paying any attention to how we pull new people into our lives.

Years ago, my son was four years old and starting preschool. He had been begging to go for about a year and was thrilled that he was finally there. He had longed to play on their playground. He really loved all of the noise and commotion of such a large day care center. He was fascinated by the sight of all those other children running around laughing and playing. He was so excited to dive in and start hanging out with those other kids. He was naturally outgoing and energetic, and had wonderful social skills so I knew he’d get along just fine. I was a bit surprised when he came up to me after a few weeks and said that he was really struggling because as ‘the new kid’ he didn’t have any friends.

“How do I get some friends to play with me?”

I told him that every week I would give him a new assignment. I explained to him that you don’t want to run through these steps too fast because it makes people nervous and they’ll push you away. You want to give them time to adjust to you as you go through these steps.

For the first week all he had to do was smile a nice big smile and say, “Hi!” He needed to walk around saying ‘hi’ to teachers and students alike. Whoever seemed cool in his opinion. He didn’t have to be a geek about it and say ‘hi’ to everyone, just those he thought seemed kind of interesting. This gives people the impression that you’re an upbeat positive person, but not too pushy. Greet them everyday with a smile on your face.

For the second week, he had to start adding their names to the cheerful greeting. When you see someone you like, smile real big and say “Hi Joey!” or “Hi Suzy!” or “Hi Anthony!” Just start learning their names and adding it to your hellos. This way they’re already used to your pleasant greetings and it just personalizes it a bit. Greet them with a personalized greeting everyday.

For the third week, I told him to give them an honest compliment along with the greeting. Don’t make it something big and embarrassing, but something small and comfortable for them to hear you say out loud in front of others. “Hi Joey! I love your Ninja Turtle T-shirt!” or “Hi Suzy! I really like the way you color within the lines, looks great!” or “Hi Anthony! Nice haircut dude!” The key to this step is honesty. You have to find something you truly like about the person to compliment. People get an odd feeling and on some level can sense when others are being fake or insincere with them. Be honest, be upbeat, and personalize the greeting and the compliment. Again, do it every day. Consistency really matters. You’re not just making them feel good about themselves, but creating a public image of yourself as a consistently upbeat positive person.

For the fourth week, I was going to have him include an invitation to play with him in with his greetings, but he never got that far. He was having such a good time with all of his new friends that he never really bothered with any more lessons. He was very popular and well loved from that point on.

Every time he’s changed schools or neighborhoods or started going to a new church or gone away to camp or whatever, he has always used that same system to make new friends. It’s foolproof and always works for him. He’s just started high school this year and is incredibly confident in his ability to make new friends. Now, he simply walks up to strangers, flashes them his best grin, in a charming and almost clown like manner he greets them with a big hug, and will tell them he loves them before he even introduces himself. He just hams it up like a beloved comedian and delivers whatever silly greeting will make kids laugh. It’s beautiful to watch him. There isn’t a shy bone in that kids body!

Can we as adults do the same thing? I know that if I really look at my own behaviors, the times that friends have seemed a bit scarce were when I wasn’t doing a lot of reaching out and greeting them. If I wasn’t personalizing my conversations towards them and I wasn’t handing out the compliments, then new people didn’t seem to stick around and develop into friendships. Most people are a lot more insecure and shy then they let on, and they really feel good when someone else notices them enough to learn their name and to greet them with a real compliment. It usually makes them feel comfortable enough to respond and to begin opening up.

It’s a really simple exercise… consistently greet them, personalize the greeting, and then add a compliment to the greeting, if you aren’t friends by then, offer an invitation along with the greeting. People love to feel likeable. This system lets them know that you think they’re likeable without making you feel like an uncomfortable nerd. It’s slow enough paced to not be forced, unnatural, or pushy. We humans have funny little behavioral rules and rituals that we follow instinctively and red warning flags pop up when someone doesn’t approach us just right. Deep down, I think we’re still just as skittish and easily spooked away as the first cavemen. Give them time to check you out. It’s amazing how beautifully this works.

Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge

About The Author

Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to spirituality, motivation, and inspiration in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, motivation, and parenting. More of her articles can be found at www.tomorrowsedge.net as well as free previews of her books.

skye@tomorrowsedge.net

The appearance of the Bernese mountain dog is beautiful. They are a tri colored and large dog. He is a sturdy dog that has a great balance to them. They are usually very intelligent and strong to do many strenuous things for many people. They are very muscular and will appear that way as well.

The size of the Bernese mountain dogs and appears to be square and is slightly longer in body than they are tall. They have the sturdy bones and that is important for the dog to have. Their eyes are dark brown and slightly oval in shape with close fitting eyelids. Their ears are medium in size and are set up higher than usual. Their skull is flat on top and broad with a slight defined look to it.

The Bernese mountain dog has a thick and long coat. They are usually blessed with a bright, shinny coat, and will be extremely curly as well. They need regular grooming and should be maintained well. They will need the proper vitamins and other nutrients to keep their coat in the best possible condition that it can be.

The Bernese mountain dog has a great temperament. They are a very self-confidant dog. They are alert and have a good sense about them. They are not too shy or too outgoing. They are in the middle when it comes to they way they want to be perceived. They are a great looking and wonderful dog to have in any situation. In some cases, they are not happy with strangers and may be cautious. This is good trait for a great watchdog.

These Bernese mountain dogs are a great dog to have in a family situation and especially a good one for a farming atmosphere. There is so much that one of these dogs can do. They are a wonderful animal to have in and to love. You may pay a lot for one of these dogs, however that is not a problem for anyone that desperately wants to have one of these great looking animals. They can be found from a breeder or at some of the pet shops that are in some areas.

Having a dog is a wonderful pleasure for most people. They can bring love and joy to a person that needs to have a companion to have around for a long time. Getting a Bernese mountain dog is just one breed that can make a lot of difference in anyone’s life.

You are ready to take on the extreme sport of KiteSurfing, you are ready to pound the surf and soar across the water and above the waves. In order to start you will need to purchase KiteSurfing equipment that will provide both safety and quality. The last thing you need happening is equipment failure as you jet across the ocean at a high rate of speed.

Many accidents can occur, but with the proper training and safety instruction the risk can be reduced significantly. Make no bones about it; KiteSurfing is a radically extreme sport. It may not be as dangerous as parachuting out of an airplane but it has other hidden dangers that aren’t always noticeable.

Before you set out you will want to purchase a setup that is cost-effective and will provide protection. You want to be safe and you want the equipment to work at all times. A Wet suit is a necessity. You never know when you may lose your kite in the water you will need to keep yourself buoyant as you swim, sometimes a long while to recapture your kite and other times into shore when your kite goes out to sea.

You will also need a life jacket or as it is known as a buoyancy jacket that will keep you afloat should you tire while swimming into shore or after your kite. A board leash, perhaps the only thing that keeps your board on your feet, the board leash straps around your ankle and stays attached when you crash or land in the water.

A safety release is strap that attached you to the control bar. Once attached it allows you to add slack to one side of the kite and guiding it down into the water safely. A safety release can be 2 or 4 line and also can be used for inflatable and framed kites. Foil kites must be carefully navigated downwind to bring them down into the water.

There are three types of kits: inflatable kites, single skin framed kites and ram air foil kites. All of these kites can be launched from within the water. Inflatable kites are blown-up with a pump on the sand and are slowly lifted as the surfer approaches the beach line. Special precautions must be held so that innocent passersby do not get hurt. It is much better for any kite to be launched from within the water instead of the sand.

There are several quality kite makers that supply the various shapes, colors and sizes including: Wipika, Naish, Sea Jump, Seasmik, KiteSki, C-Quad, Banshee, Concept Air and fOne. The price of the kite will range from $ 500 to $ 1,500. You can find many places on the web as well as in surf pro shops that will get you started from about $300 and up. Some people have been creative and created their own kites.

The last piece is the board. Most boards are rigid, thus there is very little movement involved. Your feet become harnessed to the board and a leash is recommended so you do not lose the board after a crash or re-entry from the sky. A typical board can range from $ 500 to $ 1,200.

Remember, your safety and well-being are tied to the equipment you use, it is wise to do research on the various brands available and if at all possible try them out before you buy them. This way you can tell if it fits you well and is easy to maneuver.

Jakob Jelling is the founder of http://www.kitesurfingnow.com. Visit his kitesite for the latest on kitesurfing equipment, kiteboarding lessons, places to surf and much more!

Every aspect of life is a series of ups and downs. You have summer and winter, day and night, work and play.

You clean the house and all of a sudden the dust has built up again. The laundry is clean and then you look and the laundry basket is full again.

You get a job and you may lose it. You fall in love and then back out of love. One day may be full with energy, another full of challenge just to get out of bed.

That is the dependability of life; it is full of ups and downs. How you handle them is up to you. It is easy to deal with the ups in life. They are enjoyable and inspiring at times.

You anticipate with excitement the prospect of an upcoming trip. You will have time off from work. You are visiting a destination you have never seen before with lots to do and see. You absorb every minute of the trip and it flies by. The day comes when you awake to find it is the last day of vacation. It’s time to return to the job, the house and the day to day activities. You have just experience the up, the vacation, and the down, returning to every day life.

Would you have missed the up of the vacation just not to experience the possible down of retuning to everyday life? Probably you would not have. You know that a day or two back into your everyday life and you will be back on track. Life will have leveled off a bit until the next up and down cycle.

There is a popular saying when challenging times appear. “This too shall pass.”
Well this is just as appropriate when the wonderful things of life come. Life has ebb and flow to it. It is never static.

So how does one approach the ups and downs of life?

1. When you are in one of the up times enjoy it, absorb it and learn from. Affirm to yourself that you are truly deserving of good things and stay present to what is happening.

2. Do not project onto the future with thoughts of “this is too good to be true, it’s going to turn bad any moment.” Don’t waste time trying to look for signs of a down time approaching. Definitely be aware of your surroundings but looking for demons when they are not there wastes time and energy.

3. When you realize you are in one of the down times of life, a lost job, a failed romance, or even just a plain old singing the blues kind of day, take solace. You have experienced good times before. That is your best evidence that you will experience them again.

4. Take a realistic look at the situation. Are there adjustments you can make? Can you take steps to regain your equilibrium? In the most basic cases you just may need to take care of the cleaning, shopping or laundry again. In a tougher case you may find your self updating a resume or brushing up on your networking skills. Assess and correct wherever possible and then take a breath and try to relax.

5. Remember that experiencing a down time in your life does in no way mean that you are living a bad life. You are not a victim nor do you have a black cloud over your head.

6. Step back and take an overall view of your life. The greater majority of folks asked will acknowledge that their lives have contained a mix of ups and downs and that they have learned from both perspectives. It is in experiencing the downs of life that we gain greater enjoyment from the ups in life. In experiencing the ups of life we gain the assurance that we can withstand whatever the downs in life may bring.